give thanks

PK preached from Psalm 107 this morning, which is where this note was written nearly two years ago---after a long wait, the time had come to bring our boy home!  My heart was, and still is, overflowing with thanksgiving for the goodness of our God.

Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good; His love endures forever.

Let them give thanks to the Lord for His unfailing love and His wonderful deeds for man.


{I am also thankful for the teaching that I sit under each week; PK challenges, exhorts, teaches, and shepherds the flock God has given him.  We, the sheep, are blessed because of it!}

lessons learned in the 3 and 4 year old class

I've spent the month of October being disappointed.  Disappointed that SAMFund isn't "off the ground" as quickly as I want it to be.  Disappointed that no one around here wants to play corn hole.  Disappointed that prayers offered for a young mom's physical healing from cancer have been answered with a no.  Disappointed that a routine surgery for our family's littlest member ended with an 11 day hospital stay.

Wallowing in disappoint has gotten me nothing but a bad mood.  However, teaching 3 and 4 year olds  in Sunday School about Abraham and God's promise has lightened my mood and filled my heart with joy....I'm so glad that God always keeps His promises!  I'm doubly glad that God never leaves us where we are and uses any and all things to draw us to Him, even a children's Bible lesson.

"Look up at the sky and count the stars--if indeed you can count them.  So shall your offspring be."  Genesis 15:5

I'm sure there were times when Abraham thought it looked impossible for God to fulfill the promise he had been given, but all he had to do was look at the stars and be reminded.  I can continue choosing disappointment, doubt, and worry.  Or, I can choose joy--joy that comes from knowing that God always keeps His promises.  I choose joy.  I choose to believe God.  And, when I need to be reminded, I think I'll take a look up at the dark, night sky :).

So long disappointment!

The little boy that colored this is a daily reminder of God's faithfulness and that He always keeps His promises!

"Do not be afraid Abram; I am your shield, your very great reward."  Genesis 15:1

is that you, success? i imagined you would look different.

Sam has discovered the meaning of winning and losing.  And, let's just say that he's like the rest of the world when it comes to losing--he wants no part of it.  If he loses a monster truck race to Uppa, his response is always, "I want to win!  How I win?"  The familiar refrain to his ears from our mouths: To win, you must try your best and work really hard.  But, sometimes in life even when you try your best, it doesn't always end up with you winning.  Whining won't change that.

I don't much like it when these life lessons come to rest at my feet, when I have to go from teaching them to experiencing them.........

After nearly two months of walking around with the constant presence of paint under my finger nails and modge podge stuck every where, I participated in a craft fair yesterday with the hope of making  money for SAMFund.  I had big expectations for how well it was going to go.  I mean, after all, a friend of mine and I had done our best crafting and worked our hardest.  And, I covered this thing in prayer!  Success was going to greet me at the end of the day; of this I was sure.

When all was said and done, I made 10% of the money that I wanted to make.  As a goal setter, that's a hard pill to swallow.  As someone who is in the same camp as Sam when it comes to winning, that looked an awful lot like losing.

Needless to say, success didn't come in the form that I expected yesterday.  It wasn't wrapped up in green bills that would make a great deposit.  Instead it came through conversation with those that stopped by booth 31C and chatted with me about adoption.  I was able to hear great stories, tell of my vision for SAMFund, and share my heart for ministering to families who are adopting.  It took me until this morning to see that all those prayers for the craft fair were not ignored.  He heard, and He answered.  Just not in the way I was expecting ;).

So, today I am thankful for a God who hears us when we call and who never fails to answer.

I'm also thankful for friends who transformed 31C from a spot on the pavement into a respectable craft fair booth, provided shelter from the rain, and didn't seem to mind being led all around the craft fair by a certain little black-haired boy who never sits still!


"Everything contributes to the publicity." Sessalee Hensley

finally fall

Forget what the calendar says; Fall has come early to our corner of the world!  We are leaving the craziness (and heat) of this summer behind behind and looking forward to our favorite time of the year.  Mums have been planted.  The first of many loaves of pumpkin bread has been baked.  Scarecrows and pumpkins adorn the fireplace.  Planning the perfect costume for the church Harvest Festival has begun.  And, anticipation for a certain little boy's birthday is building!

 Yes, fall is here, and it smells like pumpkin spice!

This has nothing to do with Fall, but it's funny.  Well, not to Roux.  He earned extra cat treats for this.

when it storms

Somewhere along the way this summer, Sam has developed a fear of storms and clowns.  The sky turning dark and the wind picking up is all it takes to put him on high alert.  (Or, anything resembling a clown...but that's a story for another day.)

To help him when he feels scared during a storm, I've told him that all he has to do is holler for me, and I will come.  He's put this into practice several times when storms roll through in the middle of the night.  With every roll of thunder comes, "Mama!"  And, with each time I soothe him back to sleep after he's been awakened by a storm, my mind thinks about the storms of life that don't involve rain and thunder.  The storms that shake one's faith and batter the soul.

I know Sam will face storms like these in his life, even though everything in my mama's heart hurts at the very thought.  Preventing him from experiencing them is impossible; showing him where he can go for solace is not.  So, we will point him toward the One who offers shelter from the storm and whose ear is always attentive to our cry.

May he develop a faith that leads him to his Heavenly Father; may he know that God is always with him, even during a storm.

turn on the hose.

One look at these flowers and you may wonder where I get my gardening tips.  I agree that they look pitiful, but truthfully, I am not overly concerned because I know there's an easy solution to their wilting.  Water.  Long moments of sitting under the hose, and these little impatiens perk right up without a trace of wilting.  Water is not just the solution to a problem; it's also the way to prevent the problem in the first place.  On those days when I'm Super-Mom I remember to water my flowers before the heat of the day, which prevents them from ever wilting to begin with.  But, on those days when I'm sliding into naptime with a thin grip on my sanity, my poor flowers face the heat of the day without their daily drink.

How similar we humans are to these flowers.  When we fail to drink daily from a never-ending supply of mercy, which is new every morning, we wilt as soon as the heat of life gets turned up.  When I go into the day, depending on my own supply of patience and mercy, the tank is empty before the day is even half done.  Thankfully, though, we don't have to go through life wilted and running on empty.  The water for our souls is there; all we have to do is take a drink and repeat daily.

"For His mercies never fail; they are new every morning.." Lamentations 3:22-23

this ship is in uncharted waters.

Well, we've left the harbor and are sailing through uncharted waters (uncharted to us).  There is much to be thankful for in what has brought us to this point.

In February, after much prayer and some internal pep talks, we took the plunge and started sharing this dream in our hearts.  When we weren't met with funny looks, we were relieved and encouraged.

What I knew about starting a business, corporation, non-profit, etc. could be written on two lines of wide-rule paper, so Jeremy ordered me a book from his favorite market (Amazon).

Reading the book of legal mumbo-jumbo taught me a lot in regards to how to start a nonprofit, and it showed me that those two lines of information I thought I knew were useless!  The thought entered my mind that an attorney would make quick work of it all, but attorneys cost money.  (Lots of money from what I hear.)

Always the optimist, I was not deterred; I was going to DIY this thing!  (Thankfully, the One who knows all things intervened before this DIY idea of mine ended up like the water wall and other Pinterest fails.)

Through a simple phone call, He intersected my path with that of an attorney specializing in nonprofit law.  Oh, and this attorney has provided me with loads of advice, NOT billed by the hour, while also helping me navigate/prepare/file the sea of legal paperwork required to form a nonprofit incorporation.

Because of this, Supporting Adoption Ministry Fund is now an incorporated nonprofit!  We are official.  This huge dream, born in our hearts, is now a living, breathing thing!  To say I am thrilled, over the moon, excited, passionate, exuberant, pleased....would be an understatement :).

Because of a multi-talented youth leader, we have an awesome logo! (I know enough about my artistic abilities, that I never planned to DIY that.)

Each day I work on something for S.A.M.Fund* (affectionate, unofficial name), and I know without a doubt that this is exactly what God has called us to.  What peace that brings to one's soul.

To God be the glory; great things He has done (and will do)!

More to come.  Stay tuned.



*We're Southern; we give everybody/everything a nickname.

friday night special: chamchijeon

For the past two Friday nights, we have eaten chamchijeon for the Friday night special.  They're little tuna cakes, and Sam is obsessed--maybe because he can eat them with his hands.  Maybe because the main ingredient is tuna, a favorite food.  Or, maybe because he has something the cats want and beg for (tuna).  Regardless of the reasons behind his obsession, I have to double the recipe because he inhales them.  Pair them with fried rice, and there's happy taste buds all around.  (If you like tuna, you will like these.  Except for the sesame oil, the ingredients are familiar.)

With Jeremy traveling, it's been a long week of solo parenting, and my ability to string words together in a sensible way is fading.  So, I will save my update about the nonprofit for another time.  I'm off to stare at the back of my eyelids....

leaving the harbor

Over the past couple of months, God has done much in the way of bringing the dream in our hearts to life.  To let you in on what that dream is exactly, here's a snippet of an email that I sent to our prospective board members....

As our dear friends, you know that we have felt God's call to adoption/orphan care for years.  A lot of those years were spent with us asking God, "What does this look like for us?"  Obviously, it looked like adoption, evidenced by a precious little boy with fuzzy black hair and mischievous eyes to match.

It was through the process of bringing Sam home that God showed us what else it looked like--providing adoption grants to families who want to adopt but face financial struggle to do so.  After much prayer and research, we feel the best way to do this is to start a nonprofit.  Yes, there are many of these providing grants to families adopting, but the reality is that there are more families who are in need than there are grants available.  Plus, after experiencing what we did when God met our own financial need, we can't NOT do this.  

There are two other areas that we would like to serve using the nonprofit, but that won't be for awhile.  For now, we're starting very small and focused--providing grants to families.

A very obvious reality is that we are not Bill Gates with millions to give away, nor do we have a money tree in our backyard.  However, we do have some very viable ideas for how to raise the money we're wanting to give away, and we have a passion for those families who see the insurmountable costs of adoption and think that there's no way.

There you have it.  The specific, God-sized dream that we have carried around in our hearts for the past several years.  We have prayed over it, cried over it, and felt burdened by it more times than we can count.  So, it's with great joy (and a little stomach quivering) that I am watching God bring it out of our hearts and give it life.

Would you join us in praying as God moves?  Pray for us to have wisdom--it goes without saying that we need it!

P.S. Those prospective board members are no longer prospective.  They agreed to serve on a board of directors for a nonprofit, that when they agreed, was still only a vision.  What brave souls they are!

"A ship in harbor is safe, but that's not what ships are built for."  William Shedd

stepping forward in new black shoes

The last time we tried to get Sam new shoes, it ended quiet differently than expected.  From that mom of the year moment, I learned something about this child of my heart...he doesn't take to change easily; check all my grand expectations of "this will be easy" at the door.

After noticing that Sam's shoes were getting too tight, I knew what needed to be done.  But, oh how I dreaded it.  At the risk of you thinking I'm crazy, I'll spare you just how much I thought about the best way to go about getting Sam new shoes.  Trust me when I say that I analyzed it every which a way and spent way too much time on the Adidas website.

We visited the Adidas store while in Pigeon Forge and found a pair of black shoes that are the closest thing to his "old black shoes" as possible.  He woke up this morning knowing that today was the day he was going to start wearing his new shoes.  We had packed his old ones away yesterday with "keep forever" and Sam's artwork decorating the box.

We made it this morning without a meltdown!  That's quite a step forward in new black shoes :).

so long June!

May was a month that really beat me up; it was full of the usual busyness coupled with some added personal responsibilities and the stress of tying up loose ends before passing the reigns onto the brave soul coming in to take my teaching spot; not to mention the hard reality that one of my very favorite people on the planet was nearing the end of this life.

Then, came June to finish what May had started.  June started with a high note--Sam's first ever VBS experience.  VBS is one of my favorite things, but it is so tiring.  Two weeks of VBS in a row?  Exhausting.  The second week of June brought the death of my Aunt, a second trip to the homeland for all that goes with saying goodbye, and anxiety overload.  Overload to the point of embarrassing.

So, with two days left in June, I'm clicking my heels together!  Mostly because those last two days in June will be spent in a place where my soul always finds rest--the mountains.  I may or may not come back...it depends if I can convince Jeremy to cash it all in for a secluded cabin in the Smokies.  Here's to hoping!

P.S.  The brightest spot during all this craziness was that Jeremy and I marked our 11th wedding anniversary; there's nothing sweeter than growing old with your best friend!  Mushy but true :).

it's a water wall. really.

Pinterest.  Tutorial.  DIY.  These are words that I am starting to loathe.  They are words that make me think that with the right set of instructions, I can do anything--no matter my skill set level or natural abilities.  They are words that make my dear husband want to run and hide.

The latest tutorial that I tried was for a water wall.  "Use things lying around the house," it promised.  "Little effort required," it said.  "Minutes of work will lead to hours of play," it boldly declared.

I presented Jeremy with the plan, and he willingly set about making it happen--dragging a pallet out of his shop, drilling holes in the random plastic containers I gathered, stapling each one to the pallet.

And, the result?  Well, it certainly looked NOTHING like the pictures from that dumb tutorial.  It left much to be desired in the way of appearance, functionality, and expectation.

Sam didn't seem to notice and was just glad to be playing in the water.  As I sat there and watched him play with the pitiful excuse for a water wall, I vowed that I would try again.  Pinterest would not win this one.  I have to allow some time to pass though...time enough for Jeremy to forget this latest episode.

too much time in the outfield

Like most three year old boys, Sam likes any ball that can be thrown, kicked, hit, rolled.  Recently, he's been really into playing baseball with a nice foam bat.  {After being whacked with his fishing pole, I knew the only way to go was a foam bat.}

Jeremy had bought a tee for him to use, but Sam decided he wanted me to throw it to him.  I found myself reaching way back in time to those days in P.E. when we had to play softball....how did Coach Pesnell tell us to stand; what did she say about holding the bat; why didn't I pay more attention; why did I spend so much time in the outfield picking flowers?  With these thoughts rolling in my head, I began showing him how to stand and how to hold his bat, telling him to watch the ball.  Really, it was laughable because I know how little I actually know about the topic.  It must have known just enough because he hit it a couple of times ;).  <sigh of relief>

Who knew being a mama also meant knowing about sports for those days when uppa is working?!  I may have some studying to do....

monster trucks and fishing poles

Sam was so excited the day he found the monster truck that he just had to give it to me early; nothing Jeremy said could convince him to wait.  As you can see from the dirt on the tires, we've already put a few miles on it! And, this evening we spent plenty of time in the yard with Sam showing me how to use my newly acquired fishing pole.

Last week I heard Jeremy ask Sam what he wanted to get me for Mother's Day.  Sam turned to him and whispered, "fishing pole."

Several days later, Jeremy comes to me and says, "You're probably getting a fishing pole and a remote control monster truck for Mother's Day.  That's what Sam wants to get you."

So, I was thrilled to be given both in honor of Mother's Day!  My heart is overjoyed by the tenderhearted, generous little boy who wanted his mama to have two toys of her own.  And by an amazing husband/father who helped make it happen, making multiple trips to town for Sam to complete his shopping.

Oh, the memories to be made involving monster trucks and fishing poles!

what, honey?

There are days when I hear my mother's voice coming out of my mouth, and it always gives me pause until I realize it's not my mother that I 'm hearing but my own voice calling forth those all too familiar words like, "Because I said so" or "If I tell you one more time" (a classic).

The other day I was taken by complete surprise when I heard MY voice coming from a certain little boy.

"Sam?" I say as I stand at the sink doing dishes.

"What, honey?" he promptly replies from the spot where he's meddling in the cabinet.

Really??  Did he just answer me with a what honey???  I'm so in for it if he's already sounding like a grown up!

This little episode with Sam gave me a laugh, but it also reminded me of how much he is watching and listening to Jeremy and me.  May the words that come out of our mouths be words of encouragement and truth.  May they be spoken with kindness and gentleness.  Piece of cake, right? ;)

change is coming

Change.  It's coming soon to our corner of the world.  Thankfully, it's the good kind of change.

Come the end of May, I will go from being part-time teacher/full-time mom to just full-time mom!

 Saying that I am thrilled would be an understatement :0).  My time spent waiting for Sam ( and missing the first two years) cemented one thing for me:  the greatest desire of my heart was to stay at home with Sam, pouring into his little life and watching him grow and develop.

We still have a good two years before we have to think about Sam and school (thankful for late birthdays), so I intend to make the most of our time at home together.  Because one thing is certain, the time will fly by at warp speed.  Schools needing teachers will always be there; time at home with the child of my heart is a momentary blessing that I wouldn't miss for the life of me.

Here's to the next two years--may it be spent creating sidewalk chalk art and memories that will bury into our hearts for a lifetime.

And, to the best job in the world--may the Lord give me strength, wisdom, and grace to do it well!

a special friday night special

Picnic supper. Korean food. Chocolate milk. Fishing pole. Happy boy.

Peaceful scenery. Soothing sounds of water mingled with sounds of laughter. Time together. Happy mama.

peeking eyed monsters, bulgogi, & flying tortillas

I made it to the end of March with my head spinning from the rate at which the days flew off the calendar.  Now we're halfway through April, and I'm sitting here feeling the same way.  I guess a trip to the homeland and a visit from family combined with work and the usual, mixed in with researching trademarks, by laws, etc. will result in a bit of head spinning when it all happens in the timespan of a few weeks....

In order to restore my sanity and stop the spinning, Sam and I returned to our normal weekend routine.  We brought back the Friday Night special with a trusty favorite, cheater bulgogi, but this was only after we spent the afternoon making a "peeking eyed monster."  (Sam is obsessed with cutting, gluing, and painting, mess making, etc.). When we weren't making monsters or cooking Korean, we were creating sidewalk chalk Picassos.

With all the rushing about, chances are high that I am more likely to miss the good stuff of life.  As Sam and I were barreling through WalMart this morning, we were stopped by a lady asking me how old my son was.  Turns out she and her husband have just started the adoption process for China, and like us, this will be their first child.  I could feel the excitement radiating off of her.  Along with the excitement was fear and nervousness that she candidly admitted to feeling.  In between catching flying packs of tortillas (courtesy of Sam), I tried to speak words of encouragement and hope--two things that are needed in abundance when you're going through the adoption process.

 May a sweet 20 month old little boy in China find his way to his forever family sooner rather than later, and may the family who loves him already have strength for the journey.

I was in WalMart on a Saturday morning with a three year old much longer than I wanted to be, but I am thankful.  Thankful that my Heavenly Father has an unhurried schedule of divine appointments, just waiting for us to slow down and take part.

knowing the more (pt.1)

I think humans, by nature, are dreamers.  It's seen in little kids when they say they're going to become a firefighter-astronaut.  It's seen in those funny creatures called teenagers as they dream about colleges, majors, and careers for "when they grow up."  And, it's seen in young love as couples dream about marriage and white picket fences.

But, something happens between childhood and adulthood that makes the dreaming less frequent.  The dreams are replaced with to-do lists and a magnifying glass of practicality that allows adults to analyze and problem solve.  Dreaming is relegated to the bottom of the to-do list and written in very fine print with pencil.

Thankfully, we serve a God who still puts dreams into the hearts of His children, allowing them to step out of the ordinary everyday and to imagine a life from a different, more glorious perspective.

For years, we've known God's call on our hearts, part of which led us to bringing home our sweet Sam.  We also knew that there was more to this call than adoption; we just didn't know what the more was for the longest time.  Little by little, like wiping the steam from a mirror, God showed us what the more was and planted a dream deep into our hearts, which is where it stayed during the duration of our adoption process.  Oftentimes, we would discuss the possibilities and play the One Day game.  Our dream was safe and sound buried deep in our hearts and known only by us.

God doesn't give us dreams just to keep us company.  In giving us a dream, He's giving us an opportunity.  An opportunity to trust Him; an opportunity to be used by Him; an opportunity to get in on something that He's doing; an opportunity to move from the ordinary everyday to the glorious.

To take hold of the opportunity, one must risk.  Risk reputation.  Risk comfort.  Risk criticism.  Risk failure.  Risk letting someone in on a dream you hold so dear.  This is where we are right now.

We are daily seeking the Giver of this dream and asking Him to lead us as we take a huge leap of faith to see it brought to life.  We are in way over our heads, but since this is really His dream, we know that He'll give us all that we need to move it from living in our hearts to living among people. And, I absolutely cannot wait to see how He does it!

Stay tuned.  More to come.

one year home: time flies when you're having fun

It was nearly two weeks ago that we celebrated ONE YEAR HOME with Sam!  This post has been partially written since then, but due to brain exhaustion, I just have not been able to finish it.  There are some days when I can barely string two sensible words together at the end of the day, and it seems like every day of the past two weeks has been like that.  Those are the nights that I don't trust myself to talk, much less blog, because I don't know what will come out....a bunch of jibberish that makes sense only to my exhausted brain???

So, where are we today as we sit and look back the year it's been?  We are so far from that first day!

*I've never shied away from how hard those first few days were--how the grief and trauma was raw and hard to bear.  Now, one year later, we are free of all overt signs of grief and trauma!  Our Heavenly Father has healed Sam's heart and bonded us together in a way that only He can.

*Does he speak English?  How's his English?  Those are two of the most common questions that we've heard since we brought him home.  He picked up English very quickly; it's true that kids are like sponges!  One year later, he's using too many words to count and repeating everything he hears.  (I remember those early days when I would try and try to get him to repeat one word...now he's repeating whole sentences!)  We are working on getting all the sounds to work out because some are still a little wonky.

*Feeling right at home---those first few days home found Sam exploring this new environment he'd been dropped into.  Slowly, he became more comfortable, but he would still want to be in whatever room we were in.  If I was in the kitchen, he would have to be in the kitchen.  Now, one year, it is so apparent that Sam feels right at home here.  He is comfortable playing in his room while I am doing dishes and does this from time to time.  Just because he's comfortable doing this doesn't mean that he does ;).  He prefers to be wherever we are though, even if it's the bathroom!  The difference is that he's moved from having to be to preferring.  Big difference.

*When the fur flies.....Sam has three 4-legged playmates, and for the most part, he plays well with them.  But...there are days when he grabs onto the cat's tail and it takes a crowbar to get his hand loose!  When we first came home, it took Sam some time to get used to his furry family members, especially the canine who weighs more than he does.  One year later, Sam cries if we don't bring his 100 lb dog in for the night.  (They get along so well because they having matching fur ;).

*Anxiety sometimes creeps in---the overt signs of grief and trauma are gone, but there are times when Sam becomes anxious and upset over a new situation or when there are a lot of people around, and he isn't sure what's going on.  During these times, he gets a little clingy and wants to make sure he knows where we are.  Some kids are this way by nature, and maybe that's part of it for Sam.  But, it's also is a lasting effect of what he's been through.  To help this, we try and prepare Sam for what's coming next or who we'll see when we'll go to a certain place.  Cuddles and love from us help him the most though :).

*One year later, the amount of grace that God has shown us leaves me amazed at His goodness.  May I never lose the wonder of all He's done to bring us to this point.  To God be the glory!

celebrating our first Gotcha Day

 The calendar tells me it was one year ago today, but I remember it like it was yesterday.  It is a day that will be with me forever.  It's a day that I'll never forget.  The day that we took custody of our sweet boy; the hardest and best day of our lives.  I remember standing in our room at the guest house as Sam screamed for Ooma and looking at Jeremy with a panic-stricken, 'what now' expression.  Jeremy's response was a simple and matter of fact, "It'll get better."  In that moment, I couldn't see far enough down the road to see how right he would prove to be....

One year later...oh, how right he was!

How much better it is can be heard in the laughter and silliness of a little boy who squealed with delight as we played a made-up game with balloons and pool noodles.  {Around here pool noodles aren't seasonal items.  They're used year round for things like sword fights, cat chasing, hurdle jumping, surprise attacks etc.}

How much better it is can be seen in a mama walking hand in hand with the child of her heart, looking for "moos."  {code word for cows}

How much better it is was reflected on the faces of each member of WarrenFamily3.0 as we gathered around the dinner table and celebrated all this day means to us.  {Included were party must haves: balloons--albeit a little beat up, cheesecake, and presents}

How much better it is can be felt in the recesses of my heart which became completely overwhelmed as I reflected on all God has done; as tears streamed down my face, I was amazed anew at His incredible love and goodness.

How much better it is can be witnessed every day in the contentment of one precious son who has moved past the trauma/grief and spends each day with his Mama and Uppa at "Lucy Roux House" playing choo-choos and doing little boy things {read: meddling into that which does not fall into the toy category} ;).

To God be the glory; great things He has done!

cheater bulgogi, sneak attacks, and it's almost spring (right?)

It's been a crazy past couple of weeks, including the fact that it snowed/iced so much in the Deep South that we were stuck for days!  Apparently Old Man Winter does not care that the Deep South doesn't do snow or that the calendar now says March because there are still some snowy patches left in my yard.  Sam also doesn't care that it is March and very close to spring; he just loves to play in the snow.  He also loves to throw snow balls. At me.  His very own mother.  Let me just say that I did not return fire, but I can't promise that for next time...

Despite the fact that he attacked me from behind and pelted me with snow balls mercilessly, I still fed him one of his favorite Korean dishes, Bulgogi, for the Friday night special. Actually, it's a cheater version because it uses ground meat instead of something like flank steak, but he doesn't know that ;).  It takes fifteen minutes to get on the table, making it one of my favorite dishes, too.

P.S.  We're gearing up to for some major celebrating this week as we remember where we were this time last year.  God has been good to us, and there is much to celebrate!  Stay tuned.

a warm wednesday in this not-so-warm weather

Despite the freezing cold weather, I am surrounded by much that warms my heart---snowman making at its Southern best, the beauty of our Creator displayed in the icy wonder of winter and in the little boy He knit together, small boot prints scattered in the snow, & teeny-tiny mittens that belong to my teeny-tiny Love.  "Praise be to the Lord, for He has showed me the wonders of His love.." Psalm 31:15

the many forms of love

Valentine's Day.  The time of year when love looks like flowers, chocolate, and candy (or a turkey convention if you're like some dear friends of ours ;).  As new parents, love in our house has never looked so different.  During this past year love has taken on many forms--some of which are harder to recognize than others--but no matter if it's wrapped in the extravagant or hidden in the mundane everyday, it's genuine.

It has looked like a trip to the other side of the world with my One and Only to follow the call on our hearts * a little boy with fuzzy black hair and black eyes that gleam with a certain mischievous quality * celebrating ten years of marriage in one of our favorite places * holding the hand of my One and Only to gain reassurance and strength for the journey * a melted heart whenever I  hear the words, "Love you, too, Mama" * unexpected Amazon surprises * a piece of chocolate savored together in the blissful quiet * a tiny hand holding ours * couch time and Downton Abbey on the DVR * snippets of good conversation before the inevitable interruption comes * tag-team parenting so work can be done * Korean food on Friday nights * running to the store for milk and bringing back chocolate * Valentine cookies, made by our sweet Sam, that include a flower & a candy cane * a Heavenly Father who meets me in the quiet of the morning, who loves us with an everlasting love, and who has blessed me with two incredible Valentines to love on each and every day.

YaChae BokkEumBap & is he laughing at me??

Thanks to an awesome Korean cookbook that Jeremy bought for me, Sam and I have tons of recipes to try for our Friday night specials.  This week, we tried YaChae BokkEumBap, which is Vegetable Fried Rice.  Easy and delicious.  Sam inhaled it as if he were a vacuum cleaner.  If you're curious and want to try Korean food, this is a good meal to start with.  All of the ingredients are familiar to the American palate.  Promise :).

Sam and I have been playing around with Google Translate, so we can pronounce all these things that we cook.  Sam is much better at it than I am.  When I say a Korean word, he laughs!  Surely, he's not laughing at me....I mean he's much too young to do that, right???  I thought parents weren't laughed at until their children became teenagers....which of course I never expect to happen because I am too cool of a parent.  So cool, in fact, that there's nothing to laugh at.  So, take that Teenage Sam! ;)

the story this coat tells.

Seeing Sam in this coat causes my mind to travel to another time and place.

Back to SK, back to the first time I saw him..walking in all bundled up--snug and warm, protected from the cold temperatures of a January day.  Me sitting there thinking that it was apparent his foster mom took good care of him.

Next to the day we took custody, the day we became official, the hardest and best day of my life.  The weather was still cold even though it was March, so he came again with the coat on.  After formalities and tears and goodbyes, we took our son, bundled in his thick green coat, up to our room and began the monumental task of becoming a family of three while parenting a child that was traumatized and grieving.  Our room was hot; Sam was sweaty and crying.  We tried to take his coat off, but he freaked out.  Back on the coat went.  Zipped all the way up.  He cried himself to sleep that night and slept in his coat.

Then to the morning after...we were finally able to stem the tide of tears by playing with him in the halls and kitchen of the guest house--distraction at it's best, bonding at it's best.  He's clad in pajamas, black shoes, green coat zipped up all the way.  All the running around causes him to get too hot.  Up came the milk that was in his stomach.  All over the coat.  Grossed him out.  Off came the coat.  Into the washer it went.  Once it was clean, we hid it in the suitcase to keep him from having another meltdown.

We're home from SK, home with our sweet Sam...for the first couple of days home, if he saw his shoes or coat, he would insist on putting them on.  Like he was waiting to be taken back to the life he knew.  Slowly, ever so slowly, this stopped, and we didn't have to keep the shoes out of sight.  March in TN is very different than March in SK, so the coat stayed put away.

This past fall, this winter rolls around and out comes the green coat.  Would seeing it trigger a memory?  Would he remember the trauma and grief?  Was having him wear it again a good idea?  Discussion between me and Jeremy; decision made.  With a hope and a prayer, we show it to Sam.  Put your coat on we say; it's very, very cold.  No meltdown.  No freak out.  No tears.  Praise the Lord!

Writing this has caused tears to well up in my eyes because the story of this little green coat is all too real.  The trauma and grief that Sam went through was heartbreaking to watch, but thanks be to our Heavenly Father for not leaving us in that place with the green coat on, zipped all the way up!  Not only has God healed Sam's heart, He has bonded us together as a family of three and allowed Sam to flourish in his new environment.  Spending a lifetime thanking God for this would not be enough.

friday night special and drinking with the cat

I'm sure my few faithful readers of this blog are waiting with bated breath to find out what Sam and I made for the Friday night special ;).  Well, I will keep you in suspense no longer...drum roll......we made a pizza using goguma, which are Korean sweet potatoes (different in taste and appearance than our sweet potatoes).

Now Sam does NOT like potatoes no matter how they are fixed.  He will eat french fries when he's really hungry but on a normal day, he gives them to Jeremy to eat.  Mashed potatoes are a definite no and usually induces the gag reflex.  Roasted potatoes cut into cute little cubes are also unacceptable, and you can forget potato salad!

I thought maybe it was because our potatoes are different in taste and texture, so I decided to try goguma and, for good measure, hide them under lots and lots of cheese.  Notice there's no picture of him smiling happily as he eats huge bites of the pizza we made??  Um, that's because he found the strategically placed goguma hiding under the cheese, and suddenly, he was "all done eating."  This ends my attempts at introducing him to the wonderful flavor of potatoes.  Maybe one day he'll like them, but until then, I'll just eat his share of mashed potatoes :).

That's it for the latest Friday night special...onto something else that happened on Friday.  This one involving drinking.  {Readers, please, excuse me while I talk directly to Sam.}

Sam,

You have at your disposal all the delicious chocolate milk (made like Mammaw Barbara fixes it) you could ask for; you have an unending supply of apple juice boxes and cold water by the gallon.  What more is there that could quench your thirst???  After what I observed Friday, apparently, a good thirst quencher is found in the cat's water bowl.  You didn't notice when I walked into the bathroom and saw you kneeling down, scooping water with your paw hand, and PUTTING IT IN YOUR MOUTH.  You didn't see me, but I saw you.  And, all I have to say about this is that drinking from the cat's water bowl is unacceptable in every imaginable situation.  So, let that be your last time of drinking with Roux the Cat.

donuts masquerading as fried pies & a plan to fund Sam's college

This Friday, Sam and I got adventurous and decided to try a Korean dessert, specifically Chapssal Donuts.  They're made using a sweetened red bean paste as the stuffing.  (Fun fact:  red beans are found in quite a few Korean desserts. ) Now, I know what you're thinking, but trust me when I say that it was good!  Sam, who doesn't even like beans, ate them up.  You can't even tell that they're beans, and besides, we live in the South where anything put in dough and deep fried sells out at every State Fair below the Mason Dixon Line!  Hmmm...maybe Sam and I should perfect the recipe and try selling them at the State Fair...I think we could get some college fund money or at the very least gas money for his Crazy Coupe.

Notice there's no picture of these donuts because they looked terrible!  They were supposed to turn out as nice round balls with this delicious stuffing on the inside...well, when you're using a recipe that's in grams and trying to half it and convert it to cups, things sometimes go awry.  Our dough wasn't wanting to cooperate (read stay together to form that nice, round ball), so we went all Southern and made them like you would make a fried pie.  Looks aside, they were fun to make and to eat!

Along with this dessert, we had to eat "real food."  So, we made a trusty favorite--Korean Stir Fry using a wok that my dearest friend surprised Sam and me with.  After a long, blah work day coming home to a surprise delivery was just what my spirit needed.  And, the wok worked wonderfully!  Cooking Korean food in a wok made realize that I feel kind of...official.  Like the process and ingredients of this culture's food isn't as foreign to me anymore.  A good feeling indeed.

her choice changed everything.

 Today in our nation's capital, thousands have gathered to take a stand against abortion and March for Life.  (This is an annual event that marks the anniversary of Roe v. Wade, which has resulted in over 50 million babies being aborted.)

When your heart has been touched by adoption, like ours has, abortion becomes more than a news story.  You realize it for what it is: a choice that could have been made by your child's birth mother. This is a realization that never fails to make me shudder at the very thought.  It's a realization that always causes my eyes to well with tears and my heart to overflow with thankfulness.  Thankfulness that my arms hold the precious child of my heart.  Thankfulness that our house rings with the sounds of a three year old.  Thankfulness for the blessing of adoption and forever families. 

And, most of all, thankfulness for one very courageous woman.  In spite of what it could cost her, she chose LIFE.   Because of her choice, our family, our lives, and our hearts will never be the same.

did you see that? it was the finish line!

This time last year, we were in SK.  After waiting for what seemed like years, we boarded a plane, flew halfway around the world, and anxiously awaited the moment when we would meet our son.  We were nervous, relieved, excited, happy, scared, overjoyed, and overwhelmed. Above all, we were THANKFUL that our time of radio silence, our time of waiting and wondering, our time of expecting/hoping/dreaming, our time of white knuckle gripping our tiny mustard seed of faith was drawing to a close.  Our adoption journey finish line was in sight, and not even a Boeing 777 could get me there fast enough!

Just like parents who never forget their time in the delivery room, we will never forget the day we first laid eyes on the child that we had carried in our hearts.  I have thought of that day a lot during this past year, marveling at the goodness of my Heavenly Father.  How amazing that He would choose two very imperfect people to parent one of His precious children.


Now one year later, we're making Korean BBQ Chicken pizza for the Friday night special and playing choo-choos like we've never been apart. Truly amazing.

"The Lord has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy."  Psalm 126:3

recent happenings

To keep a blog current, one needs a working computer (which I no longer have since mine finally, after threatening it for the past two months, gave up the ghost) OR one needs husband's work computer, which isn't being used because husband is watching football.  Yay for football and for husband's who let their work computer be used for things besides work :).

Wanted--one long, uninterrupted nap:  Let me just say that I am still tired from Christmas "break."  My poor house is evidence of the fact that I'm dragging my tail feathers behind me and can't seem to catch up on sleep or housework.  {I am maintaining it enough that if Sam were to eat off the floor, which he's been known to do, that he wouldn't need a tetanus shot.}

Sam's New Hobby:  Sam got invited to his first birthday party, which he was very excited about.  I figured out what he was mostly excited for when he said, "Open up presents?"  We had to have the talk that he opened presents at his party in November, and now it's Callie's turn to open presents.  Ever since Christmas, his new hobby is opening presents..even ones that don't have his name on them.

One bottle of aspirin and earplugs, please:  Did I mention the party was at Chuck E. Cheese????  When we were leaving, Sam was asking me if he could play more tomorrow at Chuck E. Cheese...of course, I responded as I quickly hightailed it out of there.  He doesn't need to know that it'll probably be many, many tomorrows before we return to the Place Where Time Stands Still.

Having a Party for "No Good Reason:"  Sam woke up from nap on Friday crying to go to the party and not understanding that the party wasn't until Saturday.  This led to us deciding to have a pre-party party for the Friday night special.  After making and eating PB&J "sushi rolls," we ate cheesecake and ice cream.  And, we played everyone's favorite party game, Pin the SmokeStack on Thomas, which made for some very funny pictures--you know those kind of pictures that you turn in to the yearbook or senior slideshow ;).

WarrenFamily3.0 Christmas Special

Last year, as we waited for the BIG day, 

we were celebrating our final Christmas as a family of two.

This year, we had our sweet Sam HOME where he belongs and had an incredible time celebrating our first Christmas as a family of three.   The memories we made were plentiful and will be thought of often; they'll no doubt fill our hearts with warmth each and every time we sit and remember.

To the Giver of every good and perfect gift, thank you for the precious gift of allowing us to be Sam's parents.  May we honor You in the way we raise him, always pointing him to his Heavenly Father.