Back to SK, back to the first time I saw him..walking in all bundled up--snug and warm, protected from the cold temperatures of a January day. Me sitting there thinking that it was apparent his foster mom took good care of him.
Next to the day we took custody, the day we became official, the hardest and best day of my life. The weather was still cold even though it was March, so he came again with the coat on. After formalities and tears and goodbyes, we took our son, bundled in his thick green coat, up to our room and began the monumental task of becoming a family of three while parenting a child that was traumatized and grieving. Our room was hot; Sam was sweaty and crying. We tried to take his coat off, but he freaked out. Back on the coat went. Zipped all the way up. He cried himself to sleep that night and slept in his coat.
Then to the morning after...we were finally able to stem the tide of tears by playing with him in the halls and kitchen of the guest house--distraction at it's best, bonding at it's best. He's clad in pajamas, black shoes, green coat zipped up all the way. All the running around causes him to get too hot. Up came the milk that was in his stomach. All over the coat. Grossed him out. Off came the coat. Into the washer it went. Once it was clean, we hid it in the suitcase to keep him from having another meltdown.
We're home from SK, home with our sweet Sam...for the first couple of days home, if he saw his shoes or coat, he would insist on putting them on. Like he was waiting to be taken back to the life he knew. Slowly, ever so slowly, this stopped, and we didn't have to keep the shoes out of sight. March in TN is very different than March in SK, so the coat stayed put away.
This past fall, this winter rolls around and out comes the green coat. Would seeing it trigger a memory? Would he remember the trauma and grief? Was having him wear it again a good idea? Discussion between me and Jeremy; decision made. With a hope and a prayer, we show it to Sam. Put your coat on we say; it's very, very cold. No meltdown. No freak out. No tears. Praise the Lord!
Writing this has caused tears to well up in my eyes because the story of this little green coat is all too real. The trauma and grief that Sam went through was heartbreaking to watch, but thanks be to our Heavenly Father for not leaving us in that place with the green coat on, zipped all the way up! Not only has God healed Sam's heart, He has bonded us together as a family of three and allowed Sam to flourish in his new environment. Spending a lifetime thanking God for this would not be enough.
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