the risks are great; but they're nothing compared to the reward.

Adoption is a journey that is full of risks.  The risks for international adoption are daunting if you think about them for long.  You send the biggest check you've ever written in your life to a foreign government and trust them to process your paperwork and approve your adoption in good faith.  You're depending on adoption agencies and social workers that you've never met, that are located around the world and there's no looking them up on the Better Business Bureau's website to see if they're what they claim to be; you can only trust them to keep their word and do their job.  And, then the biggest risk of all--opening your heart to a child that you've yet to meet but trusting that in due time, you'll bring him home where you know he belongs.

All this has been on my mind since the news from Russia came out, and I found myself worrying about the risks and playing the "what if" game.  As a cure for the worry and "what ifs," I begin to pray: "God, I ask a special blessing upon our adoption."  But then....the Holy Spirit reminded me of all that we've been through since we started this.  Like a movie playing in mind, there were scenes of home study visits that went well, even though I was so worked up and nervous * scenes from our first fundraiser, a cake sale, that made way more than we thought it would * scenes from two yard sales in two states that amazed us at the amount of stuff people donated to help us * scenes from our Sunday School class praying for us and our baby * scenes from that day in June when we got the call about our Sam * scenes from the summer when God provided all the money we needed just at the time when we needed.

His answer to my asking a special blessing upon our adoption?  "I've already provided it, so trust Me."

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding."  Proverbs 3:5


P.S. I do not recommend the "what if" game.  It's no fun at all.

a father to the fatherless

Sad news coming out of Russia:  Americans can no longer adopt Russian children.

My heart is heavy for the children that spend their days in institutions, missing out on the love and affection that comes from having a mom and dad.  These same children will age out of the system when they turn 16 or 17 and be on their own, many times without the skills and support they need to make it as successful adults.  And as a result, these children often prey to the predators lurking in the shadows. 

The law signed by Putin today does not change the fact that the need for families is still there and greater than ever.  Join with me in praying for all the children in Russia needing families; let's pray they know the love of the Heavenly Father that will never leave them.  Pray for the nearly 50 families that were currently waiting to bring their children home but now won't be able to.  Let's also pray for willing Russian families to step forward with hearts full of compassion for the children in their country that need families.

"A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows is God in his holy dwelling."  Psalm 68:5

Merry, Merry Christmas to our Sam

It's been a week full of family, food, and celebrations for this Christmas, and I have been blown away by the thoughtfulness of our family buying Sam presents for Christmas.  Their kindness has warmed my heart and made this time when his absence is so evident much easier for my heart to bear.  They already love this sweet baby boy that I carry in my heart, and I can't wait for him to know the family that is looking forward to him coming home.  It's with great anticipation that we look forward to next Christmas when he's celebrating with us!


Merry, Merry Christmas, my sweet Sam.  We love you more than you know!!

Say yes this Christmas

The Christmas story is full of wonder and miracles.  It's the story of Emmanuel; the story of God with us.  But, it's also the story of two people that said yes to God's call.  Until recently, I've never thought a lot about what it meant for Mary and Joseph to say yes to God.  For Mary, saying yes meant risking her reputation, her relationship with Joseph, and maybe her very life since she could have been called an adulteress and stoned.  For Joseph, saying yes meant risking his reputation and his plans that he had all laid out for his future.  By saying yes, both of them were laying aside their neatly formed plans and opening themselves up to the unknown.  Were they given funny looks or asked obnoxious questions when out together in public?  Were they accused of being crazy?  Were they constantly reminded by some that their child was the one that would fulfill the Old Testament prophecies?  Did these reminders make their hearts ache for what was to come?

Saying yes to God's plan for our lives is never easy and requires faith in the One that's calling.  It is, however, the very best way to live.  It is the greatest place of peace and joy.

My prayer for Sam this Christmas is that one day he'll know the Savior that we're celebrating, and that he'll say yes to God's plan for his life.

^"When Joseph woke up, he did what the angel of the Lord had commanded him and took Mary home as his wife."  Matthew 1:24

" 'I am the Lord’s servant,' Mary answered. 'May it be to me as you have said.' " Luke 1:38

Prayers (and families) Needed for Two Sweet Babies

We're less than a week from Christmas, and everyone seems to be moving at lightning speed, including me.  But, I just read an email that has slowed me down and taken my mind off of packing, travel plans, etc.  Instead my mind is full of thoughts for the millions of children that if asked what they want for Christmas, would respond by saying, "a mommy and a daddy."

This email that has burdened my heart is from our adoption agency, and it's purpose is to find two babies homes--two absolutely precious baby boys that deserve to be loved by forever families.

Would you join with me in praying for these sweet babies?  Pray for these two sweet babies to be loved and protected.  Pray for them to get the care that they need to thrive.  And, pray that they experience the miracle of adoption soon.

P.S.  As you're praying, remember this African proverb, "When you pray, move your feet."


(Note:  If God lays it on your heart to be one of these families, let me know, and I'll give you the name and number that you'll need.)

a bag of candy, tears, & thankfulness

Usually a bag of candy and fruit doesn't make me cry.  But, anything given for Sam or attached to him in some way never fails to make me cry.  Today at church when the deacons are passing out bags of candy to the kids (their longstanding Christmas tradition) and Hope brings me a bag for Sam, the tears started flowing.       Because Sam is always in my thoughts, I am constantly looking and thinking, "when Sam gets here..."

Hope's thoughtfulness today was a sweet reminder that I'm not alone in my thinking.  There are many people from Louisiana to Tennessee that are carrying him in their hearts and thoughts, too, while looking forward to the day he comes home.

Truly, my heart is overwhelmed by this, and I am grateful that God has surrounded us with so many people for this journey.  We are richly blessed by each of you, and Sam is one blessed little boy to have so many people loving him and praying for him from half a world away.

Hope, although you made me cry in church, I still love you and can't wait for Sam to go to camp at your house :).  You make this journey easier to travel, and I'm forever thankful.

no wrapping paper needed

The many gifts that we have received this year can't be wrapped and put under the tree; instead, they fill up our hearts and warm our souls.  There are no price tags involved, yet the value of each one is priceless.

*The incredible sacrifices of our family on friends on our behalf as they walk this journey with us * Encouragement and unwavering support that's given freely--and always when we need it most * The revelation of the sweet baby that we've carried in our hearts * Abundant prayers from the best prayer warriors that I know * Unconditional love, grace, mercy, and forgiveness from the Giver of every good and perfect gift.

"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows."  James 1:17

Sweet Hour of Prayer

During a time when we're supposed to be celebrating the birth of our Savior, we are heartbroken and grieving for families that have been forever changed because of the unbelievable evil of one person.  Evil that has shaken us to our core.

The Savior whose birth we are celebrating is the Savior that came and conquered sin and death.  Because of  our Savior, we have hope even in the darkest of times.  And, to this we will cling!

"Sweet hour of prayer! sweet hour of prayer
That calls me from a world of care,
And bids me at my Father’s throne
Make all my wants and wishes known.
In seasons of distress and grief,
My soul has often found relief,
And oft escaped the tempter’s snare,
By thy return, sweet hour of prayer!"

Counting down while thinking of Sam

Sam,
Every month we look forward to seeing pictures of your sweet little face.  This week we were so excited to get pictures of you from your dol (the celebration for a baby's first birthday).  You look like a little man in the pictures wearing your hanbok (traditional Korean dress worn by babies on their first birthday), and the smile on your face completely melts my heart!!

The doljabi ceremony takes place at the birthday celebration.  During the ceremony, the baby is placed in front of several objects that all symbolize something.  Some of the objects that are used include money which would symbolize wealth; thread or string which symbolizes a long life; books/pencils would symbolize a scholar, etc.  I can see in some of your pictures the things that were placed in front of you--an airplane, string, a microphone, a pencil, and a judge's gavel.  For your doljabi, you chose the pencil, which I think is awesome :).

So, while we're counting down to Christmas, we are thanking God for blessing us with you and looking forward to the day we bring you home! ~love you, sweet boy~

Christmas Countdown: A Gift Like No Other

Last Christmas, we were finishing up our home study paperwork and looking forward to being matched with a baby.

This year, we have been Christmas shopping for our sweet Sam--such a seemingly small act that speaks to God's goodness and amazing love for us!

Let's celebrate the Love that came down at Christmastime, for it is a gift like no other!

Here's the Christmas present that we sent to Sam.  It couldn't weigh more than two pounds and had to fit in a ziploc bag, so we sent him an outfit and a Little People car.  I'm sure he's going to look like a cutie in his outfit :).

Christmas Countdown: Celebrate Adoption

After an interesting conversation the other day, I realized that to some adoption is curious thing, and this causes them to ask some forward questions about private things; questions that make my heart want to roll up like a roly-poly.  Instead of taking the form of a roly-poly, I answer their questions by sharing the journey that God has us on, hoping that my response points to the Author of adoption.

On the surface, this may not have anything to do with Christmas.  But, take a closer look, and you'll see it has everything to do with Christmas.  Because Christ came to be our Savior, we can experience the beauty of adoption by a Heavenly Father.

Celebrate adoption this Christmas.  Celebrate your adoption into God's family, and celebrate the adoption of God's babies here on Earth.

Still counting down

On my way to school earlier this week, I heard a song (a Rush of Fools song I think) that contains part of Matthew 11:28.  That song and the verse has been on my mind all week, and although it's not a Christmas song, it has continually reminded me of the reason we're celebrating this season.  It's a beautiful reminder that because Christ came as our Savior, we can come to Him and receive rest for our souls when we're weary.  What a reason to celebrate and give thanks!

"Come to me you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."  Matthew 11:28

Countdown to Christmas Day 2

Minutes after posting last night that I was determined to be purposeful in celebrating the true meaning of Christmas, I was distracted by something that has nothing to do with the Reason we celebrate.  Isn't that the way it goes??

Thankfully, we serve a God that is great at drawing His children's attention back to where it needs to be!  I am thankful that He used a beautiful worship service with our church family to remind me of what this season is all about.

"Hallelujah to the newborn King
Hallelujah to the peace He brings"

Countdown to Christmas Day 1

Our tree is up, and I took a trip down memory lane as I hung the ornaments on it.  Remembering who gave them to us or what was going on in life when we got them causes me to be thankful for the memories they represent and thankful to the One that is our reason for celebrating.

Instead of jumping into the fray and getting caught up in the hustle and bustle that comes with this time of year, I'm determined to be purposeful in celebrating the true meaning of Christmas, for this is where the blessings will be found!