they're familiar. they're comfortable. they're Sam's shoes.

It was after a conversation with our sweet Dallas friends that I decided it was time to buy Sam a pair of shoes.  After all, we had planned to go clothes shopping for him the next day, so shoes were added to the list.

He's been wearing the pair that he had on, which are fine, but he's going to need more than one pair of shoes.  Right?  Kids grow out of things fast, and boys are rough on things, wearing clothes and shoes out easily.  Yes, he definitely needs another pair.  With these thoughts going through my mind, we start the hunt for shoes.  Our find yielded a simple pair that were easy to get on and off; not to mention they would be perfect for playing outside.  He was a trooper, trying them on in the store and waiting in line to hand them to the cashier.  Wow, what an easy shopping experience!

Then the bottom fell out when we got him home and tried to put them on him to go outside.  He was NOT having it.  No way were those shoes going on his feet.  Off he went to find HIS shoes.

The logical adult side of me was thinking, "Oh, it's just shoes; put them on already."  Thankfully, though, this was not my response to the little boy in front of me who was needing anything but logic at that moment.  What he needed was empathy and understanding.  He is in a completely different world where there are new sounds, smells, sights.  His clothes are different; most of the food he eats is different; his toys are different.  One of the only things that remains unchanged are his shoes.  How could I take this familiar comfort from him?  There's absolutely no way that I can do that.

So, walk on, Sam, in your tiny black shoes!  The new ones are ready for you whenever you're ready for them.

Let me just say that I'm glad he wasn't wearing heavy winter boots when he came home...the South is no place for winter boots during the Spring ;).

signs in the night

Two weeks ago today, Sam went through the most traumatic experience any child can go through.  In the amount of time it took for elevator doors to close, he was taken from the only family and home he knew and surrounded by two people who looked nothing like what he was used to and spoke a language he did not understand.

Watching him play and interact with us during the day makes it hard to believe that this happened a mere two weeks ago.  He's adjusting so well and so quickly that it blows us away, but it's at night that signs of this trauma are still seen.  While Sam took to the time difference with no problem, his sleep is still restless and fitful.  After watching him for several nights and talking to our adoption agency, it seems that the cause of his restless sleep is bad dreams.  Needless to say, it's heart wrenching to hear him crying out in his sleep, knowing that we can do nothing to stop the dreams.  As his mama and daddy, we desperately want to make the bad dreams go away, but we are powerless to do so.  Instead, we're there beside him, comforting and soothing him back to sleep.

We are so thankful for those of you who continue to pray for our sweet Sam and his adjustment!  Would you join with us in praying for our sweet boy to experience sweet dreams and a peaceful sleep?

a week later

Yesterday marked a week since we've had custody of Sam, and tomorrow will mark a week since we've been home.  It's incredible to look back over just a week and see how far we've come since that first day!  He is adjusting really well, and we attribute it all to God hearing our prayer to prepare his heart to attach with ours.

We are enjoying every single minute with him and are loving life with our sweet boy.  It's been so fun to watch his personality come out because there's never a dull moment with him around :).  Our hearts melt, and we turn to goo when he holds out his little arms for a family hug.  And, I'm usually rendered speechless when I feel that tiny little hand patting me on the back as I hold him and hear him saying, "Mama, Mama."

We waited for 21 long months to hear his voice, feel the weight of him in our arms, and to experience those things in life reserved only for parents.  It's those 21 months that make our time with Sam all the more precious and dear to us.

"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows." James 1:17

the perfect kind of day

As I type this, there are toys scattered on the living room floor; the bathtub is littered with tub toys, and the washer is full of clothes containing grass stains and yogurt smears.  I've swept the floor today more times than I can count and wiped the table off no less than ten times.  My attempts to fold laundry were interrupted for frequent play breaks, while some things are impossible to get done when a certain little boy insists on me holding him.  To some this may not sound like a productive day or a very fun day, but to me, it makes for the perfect day.

There is such a peace in my soul...I feel like I'm finally where I supposed to be, doing exactly what I've always been meant to do!

warren family 3.0

What a crazy two days it's been!  The newly expanded Warren family arrived home last night, and we've been going nonstop ever since.  Actually, we did stop when we passed out from exhaustion last night and slept half of today away.  But, when we woke up at noon today (!), we were off an running again--after Wild Man Sam :).

Waking up to a new place was a little rough for him this morning, but our cat, Roux, walked by at just the right time and distracted him from being upset.  (Sorry about you being chased today, Roux, but you took one for the team.  You will be rewarded with extra treats.)

The day has been wonderful; we have played and laughed and played some more!  We are enjoying watching him interact with this new world while learning his personality.  So far, we've figured out that he's quite the little ham!  If we laughed at something he was doing today, his antics got sillier.  He's absolutely precious, and we're overjoyed at having him home!

Nonstop playing and running means that emails go unfinished; there are more draft text messages stored in my phone than sent ones; food gets cold before we can finish eating it.  And, tiredness hits like never before! We wouldn't have it any other way though because we enjoy every.single.second. of time spent with our sweet boy! (fun fact: clicking on the picture below will make it bigger..)

More to follow later...I must go to bed now though and sleep while I'm able!

P.S.  Grab a box of tissues and check out the video that Jeremy made.  It's beautiful!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UBHdSe7RQHg&list=UU-24arckVsTBA7rygVvbMeQ

we've come a long way.

What a difference a day makes!  Yesterday, after "waking up" from a very sleepless night, I wasn't sure how the day would go with Sam.  After feeding him breakfast, we just started playing with him in the halls and kitchen of the guest house.  We would run and jump, play our version of hide and seek, push the stuffed animals in the umbrella stroller, color, climb the stairs...you name it; we did it.  And, it was just what we all needed!  He would only cry when we brought him back to the room for a diaper change, but it was no where near the cry from the first day/night.  While outside the room, he would occasionally cry for omma; usually this happened when he saw something that reminded him of her.  These cries were more like whines, not the frantic cries from the day before, and with these, he was more consolable.

Before lunch, we ventured out to the store with him, so we could see how he would do before going to the Embassy later for his Visa.  There were some moments where he would ask for omma, but he did great!  We got the Visa and are free to leave for home!

Last night was a MUCH better night than our first night. He's woken up only twice, and we were able to get him back to sleep much quicker than the night before.  It's 5:30 am here now, and we fly out later today.  So, I'm hoping a good night's sleep works in our favor!

Finally having Sam makes the ache in our hearts go away, and seeing him laugh and play fills our hearts with joy.  There were several things yesterday that completely melted our hearts though--
-We've been taking his little hand and touching our faces or chests with it and saying, "mama / daddy." Then we take his hand, touch his chest, and say, "Sam." We did this throughout the day, and yesterday evening he randomly patted each one of us with his little hand. He didn't say the words, but we could tell he was mimicking what we had been doing.
-He would ask for omma, and Jeremy would point to me and say, "mama."  Twice yesterday he repeated mama after Jeremy said it.  
-The best part, especially for bonding and attachment, is that he insists on both of us being with him.  He'll want to hold each of our hands to walk.  He'll want all three of us to play with a toy.  He will let either of us hold him and comfort him.  Of course, we gladly oblige :0).

Now that I've practically written a novel, I better get off here and prepare for the day. Before I do, let me say that we are beyond humbled by the amount of prayers being offered on our behalf and by our amazing Heavenly Father who walks with us not only during the good days but through the longest nights!!

Blessings to you, dear friends!

"The Lord is gracious and righteous; our God is full of compassion."  Psalm 116:5

the first hours with our Sam

 We've had Sam for over 12 hours now. His grief has been intense and hard to watch. We spent quite a bit of time at the door of our room as he banged on it, crying for his omma.  Offering him toys during the first hour or two did no good because he was not going to be distracted.  He would even pick up the phone in our room and tell us,"omma?"  Those first few hours were rough. I was crying; Sam was crying. And, Jeremy was there reminding me that it will get better.  Bless that husband of mine.
Slowly, ever so slowly, he would play with toys and let us play with him.  He had a good few hours playing.  Then, it started getting dark---bedtime.  This caused him to become more upset, but it was nowhere near the intensity of the first couple of hours.  It's 5 am here, and he is asleep on me. He sleeps off and on, and I wake up and rock him back to sleep. Hopefully, he'll have a better day today. Your prayers for our sweet boy are needed and appreciated.

I know this post is not full of sunshine and happy moments, but grief is neither of those things. However, there are bright spots. Thank the Lord for bright spots!  He will allow both of us to hold him and comfort him.* His crying spells have become less frequent and less intense.* He let us give him a bath. * While playing, we got a few tiny smiles out of him.* And,  the biggest bright spot of them all: after waiting for so long, our son is finally with us! We would rather be over 6,000 miles from home with no sleep and have our Sam with us than at home, laying there thinking about him.

Thank you for your prayers! God hears us and has done / is doing great things!

an opportunity to be thankful for

Today we had the opportunity that very few international adoptive families have--we met Sam's birth mom.  It was an anxiety inducing, emotional experience, but it's one that we'll forever be thankful for.  What a blessing to have a piece of the puzzle that Sam will one day want to put together.  While the details of the piece will stay stored in our hearts until the day he wants to know them, I will say that it's an incredible thing to know how much she loves him and to be able to share that with him.

Before being matched with Sam, I often thought of birth mothers in the light of, "how could they give their babies up ... I could never do that." After being matched with him and loving him so much, I begin realizing that the way I thought of birth mothers was way off base.  The more I thought about Sam and how I loved him, the more I thought about his birth mom and how she must have loved him.  After all, she chose life.  God slowly changed my thinking toward the women who are known as birth moms, who make the hardest sacrifice a woman can make and choose her child's happiness over her own.  They know that it'll hurt to say that they can't raise their babies and to place them with families who can. They know that they'll be leaving the hospital with empty arms and hurting hearts, but they put their children first.  They want their children to have what's best for them, so they make the sacrifice.  It's the incredible love for their children that gives them the strength to do it.  And, after meeting a birth mom today who's forever joined with our family, I'm so thankful that God did a work on my heart these past two and half years and changed the way I looked at a very special group of women.

P.S.  As if today wasn't emotional enough, tomorrow we take custody of our sweet boy. From all the way on the other side of the world, we feel your prayers.  Please, dear friends, keep them coming!

Hello, again, Seoul!!

It still seems so surreal that we're finally at this point in this crazy, unpredictable adoption journey, but we are!  We're really here to pick up our sweet Sam!!!!!

Our hearts our overwhelmed at the number of prayers being offered on our behalf, and we are so grateful to belong to such a wonderful group of friends and family, particularly that group of folks that dropped us off at the airport ;).

Keep praying, friends, because it's going to be a week like no other!  Pray especially for Sam though because this week is going to be very, very tough for him. His whole world is about to be turned upside down, and there will be a lot of grieving in that.

I'll write more tomorrow, but for now, it's time to get some rest!

Blessings to each and everyone of you!

preparing for travel

Wow, it's been a crazy busy week as we prepare to leave for SK this Sunday!  I still can't believe we're finally traveling to bring our sweet boy home :).

Would you join with us and pray for some things specific to this part of the journey?
*Safe travels there and back
*A quick and easy process at the US Embassy when we go get Sam's Visa
*A smooth transition for Sam and for us to know how to comfort him as he grieves the loss of his foster family and home
*for God to be honored through it all

To God be the glory; great things He has done (and will do)!!

Blessings to you!