back to school

After four wonderful months of staying at home with Sam, I went back to work this week.  It's not as bad as it sounds though because I am only working part-time.  While I would love to be able to stay at home full time, no one has offered to send us a check for doing nothing or to pay our bills, so the trusty 'ole paycheck is still needed.  Since Jeremy travels certain days of the week, I will be at home those days and will work on the days he's home.  This allows one of us to be at home with Sam and to not use daycare/babysitter, which is important to us.  {I'm not knocking daycares or babysitters...unless it's the daycare I worked at in college..it was unfit for your pet goldfish!}

My return to work has been harder on me than it has been on those in the house with the XY chromosomes.  On top of the typical worries that a mom has when not with her child, I worry that my being away from him will damage the bond that we have or that he'll think I'm not coming back and on and on it goes.

To the working moms who know all to well what it means to leave your children for the day, carrying worry and guilt with you as you drive off, I have a new found respect for you!  And, to the adoptive working moms, who know what it's like to worry about bonding, attachment, feelings of abandonment, and all the other worries going through our minds, I understand!

Working moms have a heavy load to carry.  I've only been carrying it for a few days, and I'm worn out physically and mentally!  Thankfully, there's One who promises rest for our souls, and it's to Him that I must go.

May we all find our rest in Him and cherish each and every moment that we do have with the sweet babies God has given us!