her choice

I think of her often throughout the year and always on this day---this day when millions march for life in this nation's capital.  I'm forever grateful for her choice and for the love she lived out.

She chose life, and I get the joy of finding notes like this:

 "I love you Mama.
Your so sweet.
Your so nice.
Your so awesome.
Your so cute.
Your so all those things.
Your so stinkiest."

{Not sure about that last line.....maybe he meant stinkin' amazing???  Haha}








To the One who planned for my life to intersect with this brave woman's, who planned for this sweet note-writing boy to call me Mom, I am in awe of You.

a rescuer

It had been a few days since we'd seen her.  Not unusual for a cat though.  They are, after all, notoriously fickle creatures.  But, when there weren't even sightings at feeding time after a couple of days, we thought she had enough of mouse patrol in the basement and made a break for it.  Cats may be fickle, but they at least feign interest in humans long enough to get fed.
Then, I heard it--a faint meow coming from....the crawl space???  No, not in the crawl space.  Well, maybe I imagined it, and she did indeed run away.  This was the dominant theory until the meowing was heard again today, and Jeremy found her.....in the wall of the basement!

What a picture of every single one of us.  We are trapped.  We cannot get out on our own will, power, or efforts, and staying trapped will mean our death.

We stand in need of a rescuer.  A rescuer who came to seek and to save that which was lost.  A rescuer who came to set the captives free.

His name is Jesus.  He sets the captives free.

Amen and amen...a thousand amens!

fourteen years (!)

Not long ago, Sam asked me what being married meant.  The simplest answer I could give was it's making a promise to one person and keeping that promise for your whole life.

Here's to 14 years of keeping a promise.  14 years of life together.  ❤👫

4 year Samiversary

Today is a big day around these parts.  It's the day we celebrate FOUR years home or as it's affectionately called, "Samiversary."  So, today, we give thanks for a little boy who stole our hearts with one glance at his picture all those years ago.

He's the boy who causes every flower in the yard to shiver on their stems because he picks them all for his Mama.

He's the boy who paints the cat's tail with White-Out in an attempt to turn her into a skunk.

He's the boy who prefers the penciled-in look for beards.

He's the boy who isn't confined to Halloween when it comes to dressing up.

He's the boy who gives the cat a bath and comes away without a scratch.

He's the boy who relishes the daily opportunities to practice his sparring skills.

He's the boy who was sent Special Delivery from Heaven, by way of Korea.

He's the boy who's always good for a laugh.

And, he's the boy who's a constant source of encouragement to his imperfect parents.  

Sam, being your parents is the greatest joy of our life.  We are thankful that God gave us the best little boy on the planet to be ours and can't wait to see how He uses you!  Happy Samiversary, sweet boy!!

We're not only celebrating the homecoming of our sweet boy but also the One who's adopted us into His family through the blood of Jesus.

To God be the glory!  Great things He has done (and will do)!

darkness or light

What a year.  A year of the valley.  Oh, how easy to give into the sadness and darkness, especially now that it's time for decking the halls and fa-la-la-la-la.

There are moments when I let the darkness overwhelm me, but then there are moments when I fight back and run toward the Light, choosing joy over sadness, choosing light over darkness.

I am with you always, even to the end of the age.  Matthew 28:20

The other night, with A Charlie Brown Christmas playing on repeat and Christmas decorations strewn everywhere, I was at the crossroads.  There it lay before me:  sink into the darkness of despair OR grab joy and run toward the Light.

The people walking in darkness have seen a great light; on those living in the land of the shadow of death, a light has dawned. Isaiah 9:2

 

Wavering between the two, I looked up and saw this:  

Joy it was.  Because of grace.

Glory to God in the Highest

Time, where did you go?

Pictures from Sam's first summer home......I am just not sure at what point in time this turned into 

THIS!!!!! 

A kindergartener already???

As we begin this new milestone, may this be practiced now & always: "The key is not in spending time, but in investing it." Stephen R. Covey

calling for help

{Months ago, I taught Sam his address, how to call 911, and what to do in an emergency.}

Yesterday, the neighbor's puppy found his way under our car tire, and little did we know that to Sam, this constituted an emergency.  A 911 kind of emergency.

After profusely apologizing to the deputy, reassuring Sam, and moving past the embarrassment that I felt for leaving out the "for people only"  did I hear the Holy Spirit whispering to my heart.

Sam saw an emergency and needed help.  He called the one number he knew that would send help.  There was no running around like Chicken Little.  No tears or panic.  He just went and got my phone to get help.  (I kinda wished there would have been some Chicken Little behavior, so I would have had a clue into his thoughts and prevented the call...)

When I am in a difficult situation and in need of help, I should do like Sam and calmly call on the One who can send that help.  Instead, I run around like Chicken Little making the situation worse or trying to fix things myself.  Only after failing at my own attempts do I call the One who promises the help that I need.

I like to think that I am teaching Sam all sorts of things--like what to do in an emergency.  Really though, God is using this child of mine to teach me all sorts of things.  God is using motherhood to hold a mirror up to my heart and show me more about myself and Him than I thought possible.  Thankfully, He is a gentle and patient teacher, all wise and all knowing.  He not only has hindsight but foresight that is 20/20.



Note:
The puppy looks like he will be okay after a week or so of taking it easy!

Sam now knows that 911 is for people emergencies only.

repost: 209 years of marriage

Since writing the post below 4 four years ago, only one of these precious couples are still together on this side of heaven.  Whether here on Earth or already in heaven, they remain shining examples to Jeremy and me of what "I do" really means.

209 years of marriage: an incredible feat

In a culture where marriage vows are discarded with surprising ease, we're thankful for those couples who have kept their commitments to one another, even when the storms of life surrounded them.  They are beautiful examples of what marriage should be like.  God has surrounded Jeremy and me with some of these couples, and we are so thankful He did!!

Lives of ease and comfort have not kept them together.  Actually, these couples have not had lives of ease or comfort; they have battled more than their share of storms--financial hardships, serious illnesses, job loss, economic downturns, the challenges that come with raising children, grief and loss of family members.  What keeps them together is the love and commitment they share with each other, and a rock solid faith in their Creator.

So, as we get ready to celebrate 9 years of marriage on Wednesday, we say THANK YOU to the One who created marriage and to those who live it out so well for us all!!

(My Uncle Dale and Aunt Linda eloped, so I don't have  an actual wedding picture. They were married  for 46 years until death parted them in 2007.  I know Aunt Linda is waiting in heaven for my Uncle Dale.)

cars and corsages

Mother's Day: a day of thanksgiving, celebrating, gift giving--and remembering.

When you're a little boy and it's Mother's Day, what do you give your mama?  You give her two of your favorite thing:  Hot Wheels :).  I think I have to share these....I probably should check on that...

Mother's Day corsages have gone the way of cord phones and dial up internet.  In my mind's eye though, they are still very much "a thing.". I remember my mama wearing one every year.  Thanks to some Pinspiration, I wore one this year--in memory of my mama, a woman who was a giant in the faith...faith that has now become sight.

 Most importantly, there was such grace poured out onto me this day.  Without His grace, I would have not been on two feet, much less smiling and laughing with my boy.  His goodness completely overwhelms me.

this boy

How blessed I am by this sweet boy and the tender heart  he has for his mama!

Not only does he melt my heart, he has me wrapped securely around one of the little fingers that are holding my "flower pile" together.

"Every good and perfect gift is from above..." James 1:17

To the Giver of every good gift, there will never be enough words to thank you.

three years home

This week we celebrated our 3rd Samiversary, marking three years our sweet boy has been home!

Enduring a wait of nearly three years, from home study to homecoming, makes pictures like this worth a thousand words and then some.

Happy Samiversary, sweet boy, you came into our lives, and everything changed.  You are my favorite boy and always will be!

set free from the lies that bind

The week started with Sam losing his first tooth and ended with me doing some early Spring cleaning--clearing out clothes that Sam had long since outgrown.  Both of these are evidence that we no longer have a toddler running around.  Prior to October, the very thought would have sent me into a tailspin because my plan was not working out in real life like it did in my head.

In my head, I thought we would adopt again--probably when Sam was around four.   The further we got from my plan, the more I started to believe it must be something to do with my mothering.  I started to believe that if I were just a better mom, God would give me more children; Sam would have siblings.  I just needed to do more, do better, and wait for God to send the siblings.   I did not stop to consider that I was believing a lie.

When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies.  John 8:44

One normal Sunday, PK's sermon focused on Satan's lies that hold us captive and God's truths that set us free.  I remember him saying that he wanted broken chains to be left in the pews that day.  There were no fireworks or bells from heaven ringing audibly, but chains were broken from around my heart that day.  I had been believing the enemy's lie that I was unworthy--if only I was worthy enough as a mother, God would give us more children.  The truth dawned clear and bright:  the size of our family has nothing to do with worth and everything to do with God's plan for our family.  My motherhood and worth is no longer held captive by the chains of Satan's lies.

Then you will know the truth, and the truth shall set you free.   John 8:32

Over the past few months, this has proved itself by a settled peace in my heart and mind.  I have no idea if we'll ever adopt again, and I am completely okay with that.  Contentment resides alongside peace.

Peace I give to you... John 14:27

In this, God--in His grace---met a need that I did not even acknowledge or realize.

Now,  I find myself in a dark and difficult season, a season full of needs.  More needs than I can count or realize.  I go back to when God has met me exactly where I was, like that Sunday in October.  I am in a different situation, but He is the same God.  He will meet me here.

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.  Jeremiah 29:11

sow---->reap

"If you sow a thought, you will reap an action.

If you sow an action, you will reap a habit.

If you sow a habit, you reap character.

If you sow character, you reap a destiny."

-John Stott

No matter the season of life, may I never miss a chance to sow seeds of truth and love into my sweet boy's tender heart.  It is my greatest purpose, my highest calling.

the best yard sale find

My journey to motherhood did not come easy.  A lot of it was spent waiting and wondering, hoping and praying that our house would one day be filled with toys and noise, that our yard would be a place of play and pretend.

Most days I am simply trying to keep up with a very busy four-year old, so I don't always stop and linger over how long the journey was or how God was so faithful through it all.  It took a $20 bike from a yard sale to cause me to stop, to linger, and to give thanks to the One who led us all the way.  Our house is now filled with toys and noise; our yard is the place where Nerf gun wars are fought and bikes are seen racing....yes, it was a longtime coming but worth every minute of the wait.

To God be the glory.

she is the reason.

Long before "Bible journaling" was a thing, my mother was doing it.

 Using a yellow highlighter and a Bic pen, she underlined, circled, and highlighted.  It was something she would do during a church service as she made note of something the preacher said; it was something she would do in the early morning Quiet Time she spent with her God as she read His Word.

She is the reason my Bible is marked up and written in.  She is the reason I know what a quiet time is.  She is the reason that I am grounded in a foundation of faith.   And, these are the reasons His Word marks my heart.

Tomorrow, while enjoying Mother's Day with my sweet boy, I will be thanking God for a mother who planted seeds of truth and faith in my heart, sowing a legacy of faith that has kept me moored in even the fiercest of life's storms.

samiversary: two years home

This Spring is off to a busy start!  Part of the busyness was celebrating TWO YEARS HOME!  Or as we refer to it: Samiversary :0).

It was a celebration that included a special note from the greatest-grandmother, picnic, presents, and lots of play-time--all of Sam's favorite things.

It was also a celebration of the One who blessed us with such a precious little boy.  It is impossible to celebrate our sweet boy's homecoming without celebrating the Giver of every good and perfect gift!

Sam,

These two years have flown by...maybe because you move at lightning speed ;).  You fill our house with noise and silliness, with love and laughter; your approach to life really is smile-inducing.

May you always know your homecoming is a day to be celebrated and remembered, for that is the day that everything changed.

Happy Samiversary, sweet boy!  Your Uppa and I love you more than we can put into words.

signs of spring

Signs of Spring are popping up everywhere, and my heart couldn't be happier!  Signs of Spring in our little corner of the world look like this:

The arrival of March Madness inspires the smallest of players to brush up on their skills.  Playing ball in the house comes with risk (Brady Bunch episode anyone?), but this smile makes it worht it.

Seeing these all over the yard is a sure sign that Old Man Winter has headed North.  Sam brings me a handful of these "flowers" everyday.  And, it never gets old :).

Looking out my window and seeing the barrenness of winter passing away soothes my soul for sure.

I was thinking of those waiting because of the adoption process when I wrote the words below, but really they apply to anyone who spent a long, hard winter waiting.  For those who are grieving loss, for those who are praying and being met with silence, for those who need a renewed sense of joy, for those who have lost their way and aren't sure how to get back, these words are for you, too.

After the bleakness of winter, spring is springing!  May it be filled with new life and new hope for all of you who spent the winter waiting for Him to turn the barrenness into something beautiful.

May we all see the signs of new life around us and give thanks to our Maker for the beauty He will bring forth.

building and growing

I am not in any way skilled in the use of tools.  I barely know the difference between the two types of screwdrivers, and I struggle to hang pictures on the wall with a simple hammer and nails.  For these reasons, Lowe's is not a store that I frequent on Saturdays.  There's nothing in there that I need or care to use; however, when Jeremy signed Sam up for the Build & Grow activity, I knew that I would be spending a Saturday morning in a store that's the complete opposite of Jo-Ann's Fabrics.  I also knew that I would do this gladly because it's for my sweet Sam :).

Sam is in his element any time there are instructions that need to be read/followed in order to make something.  I think his first words when I opened the package were, "Do I get to keep my instructions?!"  Using a hammer and nails to build a monster truck?  The best thing ever to Sam!

Besides reading instructions and playing monster trucks, another favorite of Sam's is people-watching, and there were a lot of people there to watch.  The key is to not people watch while hammering.  If you don't remember this, you may hammer someone's finger (like your mother's)....good thing they don't give them big hammers.

Sam and I, being the nerds that we are, got really excited over the patch he got for his apron.  It's ironed on and ready for next time!

Totally worth time in the tool store!!

I realized afterwards that we had some leftover nails; glancing back at the instructions, I saw a few places that they maybe should have gone....as long as Sam doesn't find out, it'll be fine ;).

a tender heart

When God made Sam, He put in him a very tender heart.  This is on full display when he realizes that he's hurt someone else*.

In Sunday School this morning, he had a Type A Control Freak moment and tried to show another little boy how to use the hole puncher.  (The other little boy didn't ask for help....Sam just insist on showing others how/what to do. I have no idea where he gets this from...)

He ended up squishing the little boy's finger :(.  I told Sam to say he is sorry since he hurt his friend.  The words were barely out his mouth when the tears started to fall.

The same happens at home.  The one that causes the largest water works display is when he's in trouble, and we tell him that it hurts our hearts when he acts ugly.  Big, fat tears fall.

This morning, seeing Sam get so upset over hurting his friend made me think of how I act after I realize I have hurt someone else.  When my words have been anything but kind.  When my actions could be described as all but loving.

When I sin, it hurts God's heart....but do I have the same tearful, remorseful response as a little 4 year old who realizes that his actions have hurt his parents' hearts?  I am afraid that my tender heart isn't as tender as I like to think it is.  Oh, that God would tenderize my heart and remove the callouses formed there, that my response when faced with my wrongdoing would be one of remorse and repentance. Afterall, He offers forgiveness, grace, and mercy in abundance to each and every heart tender enough to come to Him.



*Someone else does not apply to the cat...we are still working on saying sorry to the cat and meaning it....

jumping from the top step

If walking down the steps is good, jumping off them is even better.  Such was the thinking of Sam yesterday.

And, because there's a big difference between thinking and actually doing, he wanted me to hold onto him as he jumped.  (His sense of risk taking only goes so far, which I am sure to be thankful for when he's a teenager.)

Jump. Repeat. Jump. Repeat.

Eventually, I had a more exciting idea....I'll stand in front of you and catch you.   At first, he was hesitant and unsure.  He tip-toed off his first few times, but after experiencing me catching him every time he jumped, the hesitancy and uncertainty was replaced by excited expectation.  With much laughter and silliness, he would climb up to jump again.   He now knew that I would catch him, that my assurances of catching him could be trusted.  Experience is a great teacher.

Isn't this how our faith in God is strengthened?  With each experience of having to depend on Him, we learn that He is trustworthy, His Word can be trusted, and that His plans for us are good.  If we never jumped, how would we learn these things?

Here's to having our faith stretched, to jumping from the top step, and to knowing that He will catch us!