Sam,
Over the past couple of months, we've inched closer and closer to becoming friends. You learning how to behave properly around cats has really helped this. However, there are still some things standing in the way of true friendship. I will lay them out as clearly as I can and wait for you to address the issues.
-My being soft and extra fluffy around the middle does not mean that I'm a pillow for you to lay on. So, stick to those (useless) throw pillows your mama keeps on the couch if you want to lay your head down for a little siesta.
-I am 100% cat; there's not one ounce of me that resembles a rabbit. That being said, please, stop comparing my ears to those of a rabbit. It's offensive being compared to vermin such as rabbits.
-My tail is not for pulling and is completely and totally off limits. Always, always remember this.
-It's a well known fact that cats sleep most of the day. But, my 16 hours of napping are threatened when you take it upon yourself to wake me up whenever you see me sleeping. You are not an alarm clock, so stop waking me up. Let me sleep.
-Last but certainly not least, the faint stripes in my fur may resemble a train track to you; however, they are not train tracks! Keep your trains, especially the motorized ones with the moving wheels, far from me and my striped fur.
Well, that's it--the issues standing in the way of our friendship. It's your call, tiny human, as to what you want to do about them.
Sincerely,
Roux the Cat
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