Saturday, December 29, 2012

the risks are great; but they're nothing compared to the reward.

Adoption is a journey that is full of risks.  The risks for international adoption are daunting if you think about them for long.  You send the biggest check you've ever written in your life to a foreign government and trust them to process your paperwork and approve your adoption in good faith.  You're depending on adoption agencies and social workers that you've never met, that are located around the world and there's no looking them up on the Better Business Bureau's website to see if they're what they claim to be; you can only trust them to keep their word and do their job.  And, then the biggest risk of all--opening your heart to a child that you've yet to meet but trusting that in due time, you'll bring him home where you know he belongs.

All this has been on my mind since the news from Russia came out, and I found myself worrying about the risks and playing the "what if" game.  As a cure for the worry and "what ifs," I begin to pray: "God, I ask a special blessing upon our adoption."  But then....the Holy Spirit reminded me of all that we've been through since we started this.  Like a movie playing in mind, there were scenes of home study visits that went well, even though I was so worked up and nervous * scenes from our first fundraiser, a cake sale, that made way more than we thought it would * scenes from two yard sales in two states that amazed us at the amount of stuff people donated to help us * scenes from our Sunday School class praying for us and our baby * scenes from that day in June when we got the call about our Sam * scenes from the summer when God provided all the money we needed just at the time when we needed.

His answer to my asking a special blessing upon our adoption?  "I've already provided it, so trust Me."

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding."  Proverbs 3:5


P.S. I do not recommend the "what if" game.  It's no fun at all.


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