the Mother's Day I've been waiting for

Two Mother's Days came and went during the 21 months that we waited for Sam.  On these days, I often felt that I would always be a mother by heart only--carrying Sam only in my heart but never in my arms. (I know that sounds dramatic and illogical to say, "never," but feelings often aren't logical, are they?)  It was hard to know where I fit on those days, too.  With every fiber in me, I felt like Sam's mom, but legally, I had not been declared his mother; not to mention the fact, that he was half a world away--too far for me to mother him in the typical sense.  These were days that I would cling, often white knuckled, to the hope I had in the One who created Sam and knew he'd be our son.

So, with all of that, you can imagine the excitement that I have felt about this Mother's Day!  On this morning and every morning, I am so thankful to hear a tiny voice calling for, "mama" although it usually is a tad on the early side.  I am so thankful for the little boy who wants to hold my hand as we go down the road, even if my arm goes numb.  I am so thankful that my sweet Sam was sitting beside me on the pew this Mother's Day morning, even though he had no idea what all the fuss was about as mothers were recognized.

Sam,

What a blessing it is being your mama!  You are a precious gift from God, and I will cherish you always and forever.  Your sense of humor and outlook on life makes me laugh, and your sweet spirit fills my heart with joy.  You are the child of my heart, and I'll always thank God for you.

{Join with me in praying for those mothers who carry children in their hearts; may their children come home sooner rather than later, and may they press into their Creator as they wait.}