I think humans, by nature, are dreamers. It's seen in little kids when they say they're going to become a firefighter-astronaut. It's seen in those funny creatures called teenagers as they dream about colleges, majors, and careers for "when they grow up." And, it's seen in young love as couples dream about marriage and white picket fences.
But, something happens between childhood and adulthood that makes the dreaming less frequent. The dreams are replaced with to-do lists and a magnifying glass of practicality that allows adults to analyze and problem solve. Dreaming is relegated to the bottom of the to-do list and written in very fine print with pencil.
Thankfully, we serve a God who still puts dreams into the hearts of His children, allowing them to step out of the ordinary everyday and to imagine a life from a different, more glorious perspective.
For years, we've known God's call on our hearts, part of which led us to bringing home our sweet Sam. We also knew that there was more to this call than adoption; we just didn't know what the more was for the longest time. Little by little, like wiping the steam from a mirror, God showed us what the more was and planted a dream deep into our hearts, which is where it stayed during the duration of our adoption process. Oftentimes, we would discuss the possibilities and play the One Day game. Our dream was safe and sound buried deep in our hearts and known only by us.
God doesn't give us dreams just to keep us company. In giving us a dream, He's giving us an opportunity. An opportunity to trust Him; an opportunity to be used by Him; an opportunity to get in on something that He's doing; an opportunity to move from the ordinary everyday to the glorious.
To take hold of the opportunity, one must risk. Risk reputation. Risk comfort. Risk criticism. Risk failure. Risk letting someone in on a dream you hold so dear. This is where we are right now.
We are daily seeking the Giver of this dream and asking Him to lead us as we take a huge leap of faith to see it brought to life. We are in way over our heads, but since this is really His dream, we know that He'll give us all that we need to move it from living in our hearts to living among people. And, I absolutely cannot wait to see how He does it!
Stay tuned. More to come.
Friday, April 3, 2015
Thursday, March 26, 2015
one year home: time flies when you're having fun
It was nearly two weeks ago that we celebrated ONE YEAR HOME with Sam! This post has been partially written since then, but due to brain exhaustion, I just have not been able to finish it. There are some days when I can barely string two sensible words together at the end of the day, and it seems like every day of the past two weeks has been like that. Those are the nights that I don't trust myself to talk, much less blog, because I don't know what will come out....a bunch of jibberish that makes sense only to my exhausted brain???
So, where are we today as we sit and look back the year it's been? We are so far from that first day!
*I've never shied away from how hard those first few days were--how the grief and trauma was raw and hard to bear. Now, one year later, we are free of all overt signs of grief and trauma! Our Heavenly Father has healed Sam's heart and bonded us together in a way that only He can.
*Does he speak English? How's his English? Those are two of the most common questions that we've heard since we brought him home. He picked up English very quickly; it's true that kids are like sponges! One year later, he's using too many words to count and repeating everything he hears. (I remember those early days when I would try and try to get him to repeat one word...now he's repeating whole sentences!) We are working on getting all the sounds to work out because some are still a little wonky.
*Feeling right at home---those first few days home found Sam exploring this new environment he'd been dropped into. Slowly, he became more comfortable, but he would still want to be in whatever room we were in. If I was in the kitchen, he would have to be in the kitchen. Now, one year, it is so apparent that Sam feels right at home here. He is comfortable playing in his room while I am doing dishes and does this from time to time. Just because he's comfortable doing this doesn't mean that he does ;). He prefers to be wherever we are though, even if it's the bathroom! The difference is that he's moved from having to be to preferring. Big difference.
*When the fur flies.....Sam has three 4-legged playmates, and for the most part, he plays well with them. But...there are days when he grabs onto the cat's tail and it takes a crowbar to get his hand loose! When we first came home, it took Sam some time to get used to his furry family members, especially the canine who weighs more than he does. One year later, Sam cries if we don't bring his 100 lb dog in for the night. (They get along so well because they having matching fur ;).
*Anxiety sometimes creeps in---the overt signs of grief and trauma are gone, but there are times when Sam becomes anxious and upset over a new situation or when there are a lot of people around, and he isn't sure what's going on. During these times, he gets a little clingy and wants to make sure he knows where we are. Some kids are this way by nature, and maybe that's part of it for Sam. But, it's also is a lasting effect of what he's been through. To help this, we try and prepare Sam for what's coming next or who we'll see when we'll go to a certain place. Cuddles and love from us help him the most though :).
*One year later, the amount of grace that God has shown us leaves me amazed at His goodness. May I never lose the wonder of all He's done to bring us to this point. To God be the glory!
So, where are we today as we sit and look back the year it's been? We are so far from that first day!
*I've never shied away from how hard those first few days were--how the grief and trauma was raw and hard to bear. Now, one year later, we are free of all overt signs of grief and trauma! Our Heavenly Father has healed Sam's heart and bonded us together in a way that only He can.
*Does he speak English? How's his English? Those are two of the most common questions that we've heard since we brought him home. He picked up English very quickly; it's true that kids are like sponges! One year later, he's using too many words to count and repeating everything he hears. (I remember those early days when I would try and try to get him to repeat one word...now he's repeating whole sentences!) We are working on getting all the sounds to work out because some are still a little wonky.
*Feeling right at home---those first few days home found Sam exploring this new environment he'd been dropped into. Slowly, he became more comfortable, but he would still want to be in whatever room we were in. If I was in the kitchen, he would have to be in the kitchen. Now, one year, it is so apparent that Sam feels right at home here. He is comfortable playing in his room while I am doing dishes and does this from time to time. Just because he's comfortable doing this doesn't mean that he does ;). He prefers to be wherever we are though, even if it's the bathroom! The difference is that he's moved from having to be to preferring. Big difference.
*When the fur flies.....Sam has three 4-legged playmates, and for the most part, he plays well with them. But...there are days when he grabs onto the cat's tail and it takes a crowbar to get his hand loose! When we first came home, it took Sam some time to get used to his furry family members, especially the canine who weighs more than he does. One year later, Sam cries if we don't bring his 100 lb dog in for the night. (They get along so well because they having matching fur ;).
*Anxiety sometimes creeps in---the overt signs of grief and trauma are gone, but there are times when Sam becomes anxious and upset over a new situation or when there are a lot of people around, and he isn't sure what's going on. During these times, he gets a little clingy and wants to make sure he knows where we are. Some kids are this way by nature, and maybe that's part of it for Sam. But, it's also is a lasting effect of what he's been through. To help this, we try and prepare Sam for what's coming next or who we'll see when we'll go to a certain place. Cuddles and love from us help him the most though :).
*One year later, the amount of grace that God has shown us leaves me amazed at His goodness. May I never lose the wonder of all He's done to bring us to this point. To God be the glory!
Thursday, March 12, 2015
celebrating our first Gotcha Day
The calendar tells me it was one year ago today, but I remember it like it was yesterday. It is a day that will be with me forever. It's a day that I'll never forget. The day that we took custody of our sweet boy; the hardest and best day of our lives. I remember standing in our room at the guest house as Sam screamed for Ooma and looking at Jeremy with a panic-stricken, 'what now' expression. Jeremy's response was a simple and matter of fact, "It'll get better." In that moment, I couldn't see far enough down the road to see how right he would prove to be....
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One year later...oh, how right he was!
How much better it is can be heard in the laughter and silliness of a little boy who squealed with delight as we played a made-up game with balloons and pool noodles. {Around here pool noodles aren't seasonal items. They're used year round for things like sword fights, cat chasing, hurdle jumping, surprise attacks etc.}
How much better it is can be seen in a mama walking hand in hand with the child of her heart, looking for "moos." {code word for cows}
How much better it is was reflected on the faces of each member of WarrenFamily3.0 as we gathered around the dinner table and celebrated all this day means to us. {Included were party must haves: balloons--albeit a little beat up, cheesecake, and presents}
How much better it is can be felt in the recesses of my heart which became completely overwhelmed as I reflected on all God has done; as tears streamed down my face, I was amazed anew at His incredible love and goodness.
How much better it is can be witnessed every day in the contentment of one precious son who has moved past the trauma/grief and spends each day with his Mama and Uppa at "Lucy Roux House" playing choo-choos and doing little boy things {read: meddling into that which does not fall into the toy category} ;).
To God be the glory; great things He has done!
Saturday, March 7, 2015
cheater bulgogi, sneak attacks, and it's almost spring (right?)
It's been a crazy past couple of weeks, including the fact that it snowed/iced so much in the Deep South that we were stuck for days! Apparently Old Man Winter does not care that the Deep South doesn't do snow or that the calendar now says March because there are still some snowy patches left in my yard. Sam also doesn't care that it is March and very close to spring; he just loves to play in the snow. He also loves to throw snow balls. At me. His very own mother. Let me just say that I did not return fire, but I can't promise that for next time...
Despite the fact that he attacked me from behind and pelted me with snow balls mercilessly, I still fed him one of his favorite Korean dishes, Bulgogi, for the Friday night special. Actually, it's a cheater version because it uses ground meat instead of something like flank steak, but he doesn't know that ;). It takes fifteen minutes to get on the table, making it one of my favorite dishes, too.
P.S. We're gearing up to for some major celebrating this week as we remember where we were this time last year. God has been good to us, and there is much to celebrate! Stay tuned.
Wednesday, February 18, 2015
a warm wednesday in this not-so-warm weather
Despite the freezing cold weather, I am surrounded by much that warms my heart---snowman making at its Southern best, the beauty of our Creator displayed in the icy wonder of winter and in the little boy He knit together, small boot prints scattered in the snow, & teeny-tiny mittens that belong to my teeny-tiny Love. "Praise be to the Lord, for He has showed me the wonders of His love.." Psalm 31:15
Saturday, February 14, 2015
the many forms of love
It has looked like a trip to the other side of the world with my One and Only to follow the call on our hearts * a little boy with fuzzy black hair and black eyes that gleam with a certain mischievous quality * celebrating ten years of marriage in one of our favorite places * holding the hand of my One and Only to gain reassurance and strength for the journey * a melted heart whenever I hear the words, "Love you, too, Mama" * unexpected Amazon surprises * a piece of chocolate savored together in the blissful quiet * a tiny hand holding ours * couch time and Downton Abbey on the DVR * snippets of good conversation before the inevitable interruption comes * tag-team parenting so work can be done * Korean food on Friday nights * running to the store for milk and bringing back chocolate * Valentine cookies, made by our sweet Sam, that include a flower & a candy cane * a Heavenly Father who meets me in the quiet of the morning, who loves us with an everlasting love, and who has blessed me with two incredible Valentines to love on each and every day.
Sunday, February 8, 2015
YaChae BokkEumBap & is he laughing at me??
Thanks to an awesome Korean cookbook that Jeremy bought for me, Sam and I have tons of recipes to try for our Friday night specials. This week, we tried YaChae BokkEumBap, which is Vegetable Fried Rice. Easy and delicious. Sam inhaled it as if he were a vacuum cleaner. If you're curious and want to try Korean food, this is a good meal to start with. All of the ingredients are familiar to the American palate. Promise :).
Sam and I have been playing around with Google Translate, so we can pronounce all these things that we cook. Sam is much better at it than I am. When I say a Korean word, he laughs! Surely, he's not laughing at me....I mean he's much too young to do that, right??? I thought parents weren't laughed at until their children became teenagers....which of course I never expect to happen because I am too cool of a parent. So cool, in fact, that there's nothing to laugh at. So, take that Teenage Sam! ;)
Sam and I have been playing around with Google Translate, so we can pronounce all these things that we cook. Sam is much better at it than I am. When I say a Korean word, he laughs! Surely, he's not laughing at me....I mean he's much too young to do that, right??? I thought parents weren't laughed at until their children became teenagers....which of course I never expect to happen because I am too cool of a parent. So cool, in fact, that there's nothing to laugh at. So, take that Teenage Sam! ;)
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