set free from the lies that bind

The week started with Sam losing his first tooth and ended with me doing some early Spring cleaning--clearing out clothes that Sam had long since outgrown.  Both of these are evidence that we no longer have a toddler running around.  Prior to October, the very thought would have sent me into a tailspin because my plan was not working out in real life like it did in my head.

In my head, I thought we would adopt again--probably when Sam was around four.   The further we got from my plan, the more I started to believe it must be something to do with my mothering.  I started to believe that if I were just a better mom, God would give me more children; Sam would have siblings.  I just needed to do more, do better, and wait for God to send the siblings.   I did not stop to consider that I was believing a lie.

When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies.  John 8:44

One normal Sunday, PK's sermon focused on Satan's lies that hold us captive and God's truths that set us free.  I remember him saying that he wanted broken chains to be left in the pews that day.  There were no fireworks or bells from heaven ringing audibly, but chains were broken from around my heart that day.  I had been believing the enemy's lie that I was unworthy--if only I was worthy enough as a mother, God would give us more children.  The truth dawned clear and bright:  the size of our family has nothing to do with worth and everything to do with God's plan for our family.  My motherhood and worth is no longer held captive by the chains of Satan's lies.

Then you will know the truth, and the truth shall set you free.   John 8:32

Over the past few months, this has proved itself by a settled peace in my heart and mind.  I have no idea if we'll ever adopt again, and I am completely okay with that.  Contentment resides alongside peace.

Peace I give to you... John 14:27

In this, God--in His grace---met a need that I did not even acknowledge or realize.

Now,  I find myself in a dark and difficult season, a season full of needs.  More needs than I can count or realize.  I go back to when God has met me exactly where I was, like that Sunday in October.  I am in a different situation, but He is the same God.  He will meet me here.

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.  Jeremiah 29:11

sow---->reap

"If you sow a thought, you will reap an action.

If you sow an action, you will reap a habit.

If you sow a habit, you reap character.

If you sow character, you reap a destiny."

-John Stott

No matter the season of life, may I never miss a chance to sow seeds of truth and love into my sweet boy's tender heart.  It is my greatest purpose, my highest calling.

the best yard sale find

My journey to motherhood did not come easy.  A lot of it was spent waiting and wondering, hoping and praying that our house would one day be filled with toys and noise, that our yard would be a place of play and pretend.

Most days I am simply trying to keep up with a very busy four-year old, so I don't always stop and linger over how long the journey was or how God was so faithful through it all.  It took a $20 bike from a yard sale to cause me to stop, to linger, and to give thanks to the One who led us all the way.  Our house is now filled with toys and noise; our yard is the place where Nerf gun wars are fought and bikes are seen racing....yes, it was a longtime coming but worth every minute of the wait.

To God be the glory.

she is the reason.

Long before "Bible journaling" was a thing, my mother was doing it.

 Using a yellow highlighter and a Bic pen, she underlined, circled, and highlighted.  It was something she would do during a church service as she made note of something the preacher said; it was something she would do in the early morning Quiet Time she spent with her God as she read His Word.

She is the reason my Bible is marked up and written in.  She is the reason I know what a quiet time is.  She is the reason that I am grounded in a foundation of faith.   And, these are the reasons His Word marks my heart.

Tomorrow, while enjoying Mother's Day with my sweet boy, I will be thanking God for a mother who planted seeds of truth and faith in my heart, sowing a legacy of faith that has kept me moored in even the fiercest of life's storms.

samiversary: two years home

This Spring is off to a busy start!  Part of the busyness was celebrating TWO YEARS HOME!  Or as we refer to it: Samiversary :0).

It was a celebration that included a special note from the greatest-grandmother, picnic, presents, and lots of play-time--all of Sam's favorite things.

It was also a celebration of the One who blessed us with such a precious little boy.  It is impossible to celebrate our sweet boy's homecoming without celebrating the Giver of every good and perfect gift!

Sam,

These two years have flown by...maybe because you move at lightning speed ;).  You fill our house with noise and silliness, with love and laughter; your approach to life really is smile-inducing.

May you always know your homecoming is a day to be celebrated and remembered, for that is the day that everything changed.

Happy Samiversary, sweet boy!  Your Uppa and I love you more than we can put into words.

signs of spring

Signs of Spring are popping up everywhere, and my heart couldn't be happier!  Signs of Spring in our little corner of the world look like this:

The arrival of March Madness inspires the smallest of players to brush up on their skills.  Playing ball in the house comes with risk (Brady Bunch episode anyone?), but this smile makes it worht it.

Seeing these all over the yard is a sure sign that Old Man Winter has headed North.  Sam brings me a handful of these "flowers" everyday.  And, it never gets old :).

Looking out my window and seeing the barrenness of winter passing away soothes my soul for sure.

I was thinking of those waiting because of the adoption process when I wrote the words below, but really they apply to anyone who spent a long, hard winter waiting.  For those who are grieving loss, for those who are praying and being met with silence, for those who need a renewed sense of joy, for those who have lost their way and aren't sure how to get back, these words are for you, too.

After the bleakness of winter, spring is springing!  May it be filled with new life and new hope for all of you who spent the winter waiting for Him to turn the barrenness into something beautiful.

May we all see the signs of new life around us and give thanks to our Maker for the beauty He will bring forth.

building and growing

I am not in any way skilled in the use of tools.  I barely know the difference between the two types of screwdrivers, and I struggle to hang pictures on the wall with a simple hammer and nails.  For these reasons, Lowe's is not a store that I frequent on Saturdays.  There's nothing in there that I need or care to use; however, when Jeremy signed Sam up for the Build & Grow activity, I knew that I would be spending a Saturday morning in a store that's the complete opposite of Jo-Ann's Fabrics.  I also knew that I would do this gladly because it's for my sweet Sam :).

Sam is in his element any time there are instructions that need to be read/followed in order to make something.  I think his first words when I opened the package were, "Do I get to keep my instructions?!"  Using a hammer and nails to build a monster truck?  The best thing ever to Sam!

Besides reading instructions and playing monster trucks, another favorite of Sam's is people-watching, and there were a lot of people there to watch.  The key is to not people watch while hammering.  If you don't remember this, you may hammer someone's finger (like your mother's)....good thing they don't give them big hammers.

Sam and I, being the nerds that we are, got really excited over the patch he got for his apron.  It's ironed on and ready for next time!

Totally worth time in the tool store!!

I realized afterwards that we had some leftover nails; glancing back at the instructions, I saw a few places that they maybe should have gone....as long as Sam doesn't find out, it'll be fine ;).